♥ aihararikoのブログ ♥

Studies , school , friendss,, 








i dun remember exactly what had happen in my childhood.What is in my mind now is my parents really do care about me, but they quite strict to me.but then, i still had so much happiness in my life.Just one thing dat keep bothering me still now, i am a type of person who are not so smart.i am a daydreamer person without any intention to achieved it, coz usually i dreamin on something that my parent wouldnt allowed it.For such, i love art,i love drawing image,i love music and once dream to be an artist.those things are all that my parents are against to it.Lot of dipresses in me since i was in standard 1,where my parent pushed me too study hard so that they can feel proud of me,i am want to make they proud of me,but sometyme i feel quite tired to do something that isnt my pleasure.i still remember where my mom teaches me mathematics question,seriously,i dun knoe why it's hard for me to understand those formula,altho the question is just a simple one.she kept pushing,and pushing me till i get what they want.i am satisfied and proud.sometyme,i just feel like i have luck on them,since i am not really study and in my test i dun really get well.but when it come to abig exam,which it will consider which high school i would apply for,i will be suprise for my result where i get straight A's.then i go to the popular high school in my state.All students seems so Genius compared to me and i got first friend there.her Name was A.Actually,since i was in standard school,i was a lil quite and gloomy person so,when i am in high school i tried to become hyper and friendly.but, in my schoolife tyme doesnt go on well, every year or every where i go,i will always consider as weird one n always be ashamed of myself.in other word,i am no lucky person in making everyone likes me.when i was in form 2, i have been called to be a prefect in my school.and i take my senior as a role model in order to become a good prefect in my school,however my friend start didnt like me,they abandoned me and did not want to talk with me,altho my good fren was always beside me i knoe she also uncomfortable with me.so i changed back. i changed and become unresponsible prefect who didnt do their job in order to make everyone likes me back.it's work,but then my life had full with sin that i've become a bad girl.see? i can easily influence with my surounding and always change my mind. well im not a strong person as well.as im not good at academics,, i need person to guide me,i cant stand by myself,i cant do anything if im alone,i need fren that can lead me, but they often hurt me.